Sunday, December 16, 2007

Perception

Here's one that's been on my mind and driving me insane lately because, though I'm sure I'm not, it seems I'm the only person who gets it. I think most people will agree with this, but nobody thinks to practice it; Everybody's perception is different.

It's hard to put this one into words, so you'll have to bear with me, and the best examples, or at least the most relevant, I can think of are personal... so you'll have to bear with that as well. Put most simply; What something means to you is not necessarily what it means to anybody else.

Just because something seems amazing to you, doesn't mean others will agree, and just because something seems insignificant to you, it doesn't mean others will agree. That's the part I'd assume most people would agree upon, but here's where it gets tricky.

I devote my life to cheering others up and making sure my friends are happy, in doing that I've learned that how *I* feel about their situation, or their problems, is irrelevant, because it's hurting *them* and that's what's important. My parents, this is the first example, have never told me they're proud of me in any way, shape, or form, despite my doing my damned hardest to prove myself to them. They believe they *have* shown it, and I told them that their methods don't work... the example I made to Mom the other night is that it's like writing a message in brail and giving it to me to read. Technically the message is there but there's no way in hell I'll be able to interpret it and that's the important bit, that *I* understand it.

Another one, that seems to come up often, is when I'm feeling low because my parents and I are constantly fighting, and I turn to one of my friends. To them my situation is insignificant and *that* is what they act on... they don't see that to me it means *everything*, they simply perceive it as my being selfishly whiney. So in stead of trying to cheer me up, my friends give me lectures about how I'm an emo and how I should be happy with my life because I have this, or that, or some other thing.

Once again, what should be important is how the person stuck in the situation perceives the situation, and not how *you* perceive it. As a broader example, that everybody should be able to recognize, let's talk gifts, or in this case, Christmas gifts. It will be a bit after X-Mas (money is tight for me and the offer *just* arose) but I plan on building Dad a computer that can compete with my own. I know he'll hardly ever use it, and I know it will be, for the better part, a waste of good computer parts that I would rather have *but* I know that to Dad it will mean everything because he's been wanting a computer that can do what mine does.

I find it funny that often when I turn to somebody with my problems, I end up getting a list of their problems and a lecture on how much worse off they have it. In the end it seems I'm doing what I normally do and cheering them up because I recognize how they perceive their problems and I do what I can to help.

I'm sorry if I come off as a bit arrogant, or whiney in this article as this issue has come up several times in the past two weeks for me and I'm finally doing my best to put it all into words. I simply ask of all six of my readers that if you ever find yourself talking to a depressed friend over an issue you find blatantly stupid and insignificant, remember; it's this insignificant issue that has brought your *friend* to tears... so just how insignificant can it be?

-Wraith

4 comments:

DuncanMorrison said...

k, this might seem really cliche, but I'm gonna quote a little Shakespeare:

“Oh, what a bitter thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes.”

Faustus said...

quite a moving piece wraith

i also shall follow with a quote

“Nature and Books belong to the eyes that see them.”

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you'll resolve your issues. I really don't know much else what to say (I'm less than brilliant at these thing...) other than enjoy your Xmas.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I run into that issue all the time... though not as badly as that... really makes you wonder what people are thinking...